top of page

How To Raise A Metalhead

Writer's picture: Rūta LatinytėRūta Latinytė



Instead of all the platitudes about science and learning, I'll tell you how to raise a metalhead, or in other words, how to get your kids away from computers.

The recipe is very simple - you go out and buy an electric guitar. If there are more children, it's for everyone, because the instrument is an intimate personal item. Not an acoustic, not "play a year with the piano and then we'll see", not "if you're good for Christmas maybe you'll bring one" and no other excuses - you just buy one. You can take it from the savings budget line "for a new crown" or any other line, because you probably didn't plan it.

Until I held it in my own hands, I did not believe that this instrument was so enchanting. And if you don't know which one to buy, the music shop consultants will be very quick to advise and give the young musician a feel for it, based on the budget and the child's musical preference. It's up to you to stay out of the way, swallow your spit and pay.

And then you will be happy that instead of playing computer games in the house, every day, in one room or the other, all the compulsory introductory music will be played, many times a day, many times a day, in one room or the other, Smoke on the water, Seven nation army, Come as you are and then the other songs in order. Plus personal compositions, and I'm telling you - I've never heard such dark doom metal before.

The super-powerful geimers' computers will soon be repurposed for audio. Youtube videos instead of game walkthroughs on how to play this or that track and how to edit the recording files.

You will dream of the peaceful days of Counter Strike or Roblox, because now the game will be "how much can I make my cube louder so that the adults will come and ask very politely for a lull". And all the songs, once you know them by heart, will be played in sequence with all the weirdest effects.

And instead of new games, there will be "Mum, I really need such and such a pedal". Just as you used to dread getting past Toy Planet, then the Game Room, now you'll try to get past Tamsta, because there's something you absolutely need. Something that Cobain played with.

You'll dream of quiet evenings before bedtime, when you watched all sorts of funny reels in peace, and didn't try to mentally calculate the decibel level to see if the neighbours would call the police.

You'll be thinking about how to vacuum the kids' rooms and not get your foot on the wires of the crib and accidentally unplug something else.

With the children squealing and sneezing and sneezing from the dust, you'll be amazed that the old CDs and even cassettes of your youth are still working in the dark recesses of your mother's basement apartment.

You will still get to buy books, yes, books! A child who has not been much of a reader will devour Kurt Cobain's diary, Ed Sheeran's biography, and carry Anthony Kiedis's memoirs into the living room, which I tried to take away because it was all about sex, drugs and rock'n'roll, but failed. Dave Grohl's The Storyteller (published in English by Helios) was a real battle of the brothers.

For the new school year, you won't be buying polo shirts with neat collars, but Nirvana and Metallica hoodies, which, it turns out, the whole of Akropolis is full of, because the 90s are in fashion now. Oh yes, for the joy of the oldies, all teenage music is now teenage idols, the same ones! And it doesn't matter that they're not on the radio. Yes, they do - on Rock FM, and that will now be the only radio in your car that children can tolerate.

But if you want to raise metalheads consistently, you have to start a bit earlier, from the months of pregnancy, and instead of Mozart, you have to go around the tent with Mėnuo Juodaragis, Devilstone and Kilkim Žaibu. The first two, unfortunately, are no longer happening, so it will be a lightning fest. And to take the children there every year afterwards. Then, even if you don't hear heavy music that often at home, you'll be amazed that young people will discover it for themselves. And they will want to experience it in the way that today's children go all out - to go through all the levels: to listen, to play, to wear, to read, to create, to share with their peers and to be proud of it. I am also a very proud mum, so I share that. And I regret a little why I didn't tell my mother when I was a teenager that I needed an electric guitar, because she probably wouldn't have spared me. I'll let you in on a secret - I've even managed to learn a couple of black riffs . Hell yeah!

Happy learning everyone, and don't put off what you like best!

Pictured here is my sister-in-law ten years ago. We should have done a "then and now" version, but they wouldn't let us share, so the present shots are of the grown up instruments.




2 views

Recent Posts

See All

© Agne Latinyte, Ruta Latinyte.
Powered and secured by Wix

bottom of page